When Good Friends Want to Help… But Miss What You Really Need

I recently sat around a table with three other women, listening as two of them tried to “fix” what the other was struggling with. There were a lot of “shoulds” and “you oughts” flying around. Very few questions were being asked. There was almost no space for the woman—who was wrestling with a deeply important decision—to actually hear herself think. As I watched the conversation bounce around the table, I immediately knew that life coaching would be so beneficial for her.

Friends Jump Into Fix-It Mode

Friends genuinely care. They empathize, they share their stories, they want to help. But often, what’s top of mind for them is finding a solution quickly so you’ll be okay… and if they’re honest, so they can feel okay too. Without realizing it, they start bulldozing their way toward the “answer”—offering advice, examples, and personal experiences—hoping something will click. But that approach leaves no room for what’s going on inside of you. No room to slow down, breathe, or untangle what you’re really feeling and thinking.

In that particular conversation, there was no silence to think. No room to process out loud or to reflect before answering. Just a steady stream of stories, examples, and advice, tossed out in hopes that something might help.

Life Coaching Feels Completely Different

Life coaching feels completely different because it’s built on space, curiosity, and presence. It intentionally gives you:

• Silence that helps you hear yourself

• A slower pace so your thoughts can settle

• Space to process without interruption

• Time to explore what’s going on inside—your thoughts, your emotions, your behaviors

• Curiosity about what’s possible, instead of pressure to decide quickly

As a Christian life coach, I often ask my clients, “What’s true here?” It’s a gentle invitation to remember Biblical truth and your identity in Christ. It helps you reframe what you see as liabilities into gifts God has woven into you. The goal is clarity—not someone else’s idea of what you should do, but insight into who you are, how the Holy Spirit is leading, and what aligns with the truth of who you are in Christ.

The Difference in How You Leave the Conversation

When a hard conversation with friends wraps up, you often hear, “I’m so sorry you’re struggling,” or “I’ll be praying for you.” And those words matter. They’re heartfelt and comforting. But they often don’t leave you feeling hopeful, having clarity or ready for what’s next.

A coaching conversation, however, helps you walk away with:

• Understanding what’s going on inside

• A sense of calm and possibility

• Clarity about what matters most

• Insight into what God might be revealing

• Practical next steps

• A deeper awareness of who you are as God’s beloved child

It’s not about someone giving you answers. It’s about creating the space for you to discover them.

How do you determine if life coaching is a good fit for you?

The first step is to schedule a free, 30 minute discovery call. During our call, we'll talk about what's going on in your life and what's bringing you to coaching. I'll share what assessments and coaching I offer, and together we will determine if coaching is the best fit for your current needs and if it makes sense for us to work together.

Schedule your call here.

Meet Renee Bethel of Finding Me Christian Coaching

Hi, I’m Renee Bethel, and I’m passionate about guiding fellow children of God through personality-driven growth, helping them understand who they are in Christ and what they have access to as God’s very loved children. As a Certified Professional Life Coach (CPLC) and a Certified Enneagram Coach, I offer 1:1 and group Christian life coaching where we uncover the unique ways your personality responds to stress, relationships, law and grace. Through Biblical truth, Enneagram insights, and emotional regulation tools, I partner with you to make sense of your inner world and live from a place of rest in the freedom you have as God’s child.  I'd love to meet you.